Helium article; Would you rather have courage or wisdom?

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Courage

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by Kelly Mastanduno

• Created on: January 03, 2008

Courage and wisdom; two extremely valuable and noble traits.

Each of these terms come with a certain amount of loose interpretation. For the sake of this essay I interpret courage as the ability to act from the heart without fear, insecurities or defenses. I take wisdom to mean having knowledge, book smarts, intelligence.

If I was faced with having to choose one or the other, I'd choose courage.

Humans are herd animals, if you will, with a seemingly innate desire to "fit in". If our neighbors are buying octagon houses and wearing red boa scarves, despite our initial and true preferences, we begin to desire the octagon houses and red boa scarves. We want to be accepted and loved, admired and adored, even by strangers and those whose opinions should not matter. It takes courage to buy the square house and wear a striped knit scarf, if that's what you truly prefer. But when you have the courage to follow your heart rather than settle for what everybody else is doing, it is only then that you will know what real freedom and happiness is. It is only then that your eyes can open wide enough to be able to see all of life around you rather then the narrow way outlined for you by others.

With wisdom alone you may know how the world around you ticks, but without courage you will never fully experience the wondrous joys that it offers. You may know how the mountains came to be, but without courage you cannot climb those mountains and explore the beauty that lies in reaching the top.

With wisdom you may know how to build buildings, computers and even fortunes. Without courage however, you will not know how to build healthy relationships, loving families or loving friendships.

See, you can have brains, but that alone can leave you lonely and empty without the courage to truly reach your full potential and to take chances on enjoying life. It takes courage to lay down goals and to push through adversities to reach them. It takes courage to speak your mind and open your heart. It takes courage to face problems that arise in this imperfect world and to overcome them. It takes courage to be honest, just and fair.

Being intelligent may earn you accolades, but will not earn you true respect. Being intelligent can earn you a fat bank account, but money will never buy the freedom and happiness of being brave enough to face criticism and failure. With courage you can accept your mistakes and fix them, you can recognize your weaknesses and strengthen them. You can admit to your shortcomings and have the confidence it takes to "do the right thing", even if it goes against the crowds of "followers".

Brains doesn't make you a better person, but courage can.

How do the clouds know when to rain?

Does it mean the sky is sad?

My mother answered, Oh my Love!

It’s nothing near that bad!

You see the clouds that float up high,

That pass the tallest trees?

They whisper to each other,

About each others needs.

 

The trees talk to the flowers,

The flowers to the plants,

The plants are close down to the ground,

And they talk to the ants.

 

The ants are all around,

They talk to dogs and cats,

Who also talk to birds,

Horses, cows and bats.

So when someone gets thirsty,

Dirty, dry or hot,

The trees will tell the clouds,

To move over to that spot.

See everyone needs rain,

Down to every blade of grass,

So when a cloud feels heavy,

The trees tell it where to pass.

 

The cloud goes where it’s needed,

The wind blows it on its way,

And after it rains down all its raindrops,

Watch the colors come out to play.

 

The grass becomes much greener,

The flowers bloom their buds,

The dust is washed off the horses,

They don’t need soap or suds.

 

And then the cloud is empty,

And goes along it’s way,

To gather some more rain,

To spread another day.

 

You have to see the world through rainbow colored glasses,

My mother once said to me,

Because if you don’t, the world is plain,

But with them on you see…

The colors in the sky, instead of just the blue,

The rainbows in the clouds, shining there for you,

But pay attention now, cause this is also true…

It’s possible to see, the colors of LOVE too...

What is love? I asked my mom,

Oh honey I hope you see,

Love is everything around you,

Starting with you and me.

Love can be your kitty curled up at your feet,

Love can be your teddy bear, you even named him Pete.

But love is also Mom and Dad, brothers and sisters too,

It can also be Mom and Mom, or Dad and Dad, it’s true.

You see, a rainbow’s best with ALL its colors

,

And there is no straight, clear line,

So no matter where you fall on the curve,
Honey, that’s just fine.

Some people just don’t understand,

 They’re jealous, they’re angry, they’re mad,

 They haven’t learned that love is good,

 There is no love that’s bad.

Imagine a world of black and white,

Where love was not so free,

I want to be able to love you,

I want you to be able to love me.

Darling, you’re free to love whomever you want,

Because love is a beautiful thing,

 Black, white, brown, boy or girl,

 Whomever makes you sing.

Take a look through rainbow colored glasses,

There’s more than what you see,

Because Love is still Love,

Whether them, you, or me.

Parents, really?

Ooh, parents can certainly have it in for you, can't they? They spend years and years trying to cultivate you to be the perfect little person, the person they want you to be. You learn your right from wrong from them, base the foundations of your morals through them, even come to mimic some of their behavior and mannerisms. But it never fails to surprise me when the parental roles suddenly switch out on me. I sometimes find myself dealing with 50 and 60 year old children, the ones who raised me, or raised Jason. Bickering, competing, complaining, not letting things go... do I put them in time out? 


Recently my girls left for a visit to New York to see the Grandparents. We do this every year, one year the girls go, the next the boys go (we'd have to buy our own aircraft to send them all at one time, it's on the bucket list...). Well, every year, along with the planning of the trip, and then the week prior to, there's chaos. Oh, the kids are fine. They've been through the whole flying alone thing before. And I have all the bags packed, fresh clothes, all the best, made sure to pick out the holey socks and stained drawers. Jay and I miss them every year, of course, but it ain't our first rodeo either and we know it's great for the kids. 


No, the problem lies with the "adults". The "mature adults". The matriarchs of the families, the ones who are our spiritual mentors and life guides. The ones who blazed the trail for us with sweat, tears, and blood. Well, they have their revenge.


The first year we moved here and started this grand tradition, my mom ended up with one extra day. Ho-lee hell. So the second year his mom got two extra days. Jee-zus Christ. Forgive me for forgetting the details, my therapist has advised me not to dwell on the unpleasantries. But this year,  this year took the Grandaddy prize home (or should I say the Grandmama prize?). 


I made the mistake (I am heaping blame in the form of hot coals upon my bare shoulders... not really, but I still took the blame...) of giving my mother another extra day. There's a church bar-b-que the kids love to go to every year with her and some time ago, when the trip was first being planned (months ago people, I don't remember if I even showered yesterday) my mom asked if she could take them to the bar-b-que. Sure! Why the hell not? Here's where my mistake was; the reason she was asking was b/c the bar-b-que was on a monday, not a sunday, like usual, so instead of making the grandparent switch on sunday, like usual, my mom would have them an extra day. I absently said yes. (I would have said yes anyway, this is supposed to be about the kids, right?), but my error was in not paying close enough attention to the calendar and alerting Jay's mom ahead of time of the extra day. Sigh.


So when the time came to tell her, she was less than Christ-like about it. She and my mom had words (a sunday school teacher and a deacon), Jay's mom and I had words about it, Jay and I had words about it, I think the neighbors were talking too.


Over one stinking lousy day. 


And all this while I was away for the first time EVER without the kids on vacation with my girl. Ever fight long distance over a cell phone on roaming?


So after apologizing to Jay's mom for messing it up, but emphasizing this was about the kids and they did want to go to the bar-b-que, she said to me, and I quote, "Know what Kelly, 3 or 4 days isn't worth it, why don't you have your mom get them home?"


Let me explain, after the in-laws were to get them, they were to keep them a few days in NY, then were going to drive down to GA and spend a week here (home in time for our July 4th anniversary). Apparently losing a day in NY with them "wasn't worth" seeing the grandkids after all. 


So, some blood, sweat and tears later, my mom buys fifteen hundred dollar plane tickets and they are coming home a week late. Without seeing Jay's parents. And missing the fourth and our ann. (We've announced a mulligan and will be celebrating next weekend, everyone's invited ;) ).


What happened to it being about the kids? I referee 9 other people 99% of the time, I didn't think I was going to have to do the parents too! Is it time to put them in homes? (please?)