The New Year is here and many of us are making resolutions. Of course you've got the typical, "I want to lose weight", "I'm going to stop smoking", "I'll spend more time with (fill in the blank)", but I've got a challenge for you. Stop complaining. Yeah, I'm not going to tip toe around it, lol. Being the mom of eight, and wife of one, I hear a lot of complaining. A lot. In order to keep myself from needing an escort to the asylum, my defense is NOT to complain. Of course, influencing this decision not to complain is that I have noone to complain to, being elected head of the "complaint department" (a position I swear I don't remember running for), I am the end of the line. As soon as a complaint forms in my head, it has nowhere to go except to bounce around in there, and I don't have enough room for all that nonsense. :P

Being Mom means having to suck it up, whether I want to or not. Cursing out the guy who just cut me off isn't always appropriate with a van full of kids, you know what I mean? It sends confusing messages to my kids when I teach them to be nice to others and then I get pissy with the chick in front of me in line who doesn't have her deposit slip ready. So, with my kids so generously acting as mirrors to myself (sometimes I feel like I'm in a fun house at a carnival...), I started making a more conscious decision to actually BE what I wanted them to be. Did I really expect them to be nice, helpful, encouraging, supportive, resourceful, productive, positive people? Well, yes, yes I did. Epiphany! Then I must be so also. Oh my.

"Mom, why is that person taking so long?"

"Well, it looks like she can't find the right credit card to use hun"

"How much longer is it going to take?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe just another few minutes"

(insert whine)

"Have patience son, we'll be done in a few minutes"

Have patience. I told my child to have patience, so shouldn't I as well? Standing there tapping my feet or mumbling under my breath is not a good show of patience. Besides, it only builds more impatience and aggravation, not to mention possibly unfair stress on the person we're waiting on (come on, we've all been the one fumbling at the register at one time or another, it's no picnic).

We all know of (or maybe you are) someone who seems to never have anything nice to say. "That person is taking up two parking spots! The nerve! Who told them they owned the parking lot?!". "Well excuuuse me! Do they think they're the only ones trying to get somewhere today?!". "It's raining again, what a crappy day". In these instances, you are part of the problem. Ouch, but yeah, it's true. If you have nothing nice to say, and all that jazz, you know? So think about this: One; haven't YOU ever been there? Haven't you ever been the one cutting off traffic b/c you're 2 year old fell and cracked his head? Haven't you ever had a credit card flunk on you at the register? Is it possible you have ever bumped into somebody and wasn't aware of it b/c your mind was on the grocery list and not forgetting the diapers this time? And wouldn't you be complaining if there was no rain at all for the grass and garden (and lazy days)? Two; I think we can all agree that what this world needs is more constructive solutions. Not more fuel on already burning fires, right? So if you are aware of a problem, do everyone a favor and either offer a solution, or just walk away (and no, telling someone to go flip themselves is NOT a constructive resolution).

Think about this too, much of what people complain about are things they can, but choose not to, do anything about. If your husband doesn't take out the garbage, take it out yourself. If your kids are acting up, put them in line. If the cat pooped on your coat, clean the litter box. Complaining only makes you cranky and unproductive. On the flip side, too much complaining goes on about things you just cannot do anything about. Accept it. Simple. Move on.

So here's the challenge, try to get through the next week without complaining. Be optimistic. Put the shoe on the other foot. Let it go. Look on the bright side. And see if you can offer solutions or do something about the problem at hand yourself. I have found, truly, that this makes me not only a good role model for my children, but I can touch the lives of others in a positive way by simply offering a little patience, a smile, or a helping hand. At the least, I can just let it go and eliminate a whole lot of undue stress to my already busy life. :)