So this whole derby training is even harder than I imagined it would be. Which is excellent! Sundays are endurance training. Sounds scary? It is! Not only are we drilled and pushed, and drilled and pushed, but after two hours of this on skates, we do some hardcore shit off skates too. Jogging laps, jumping jacks, push ups, jogging laps, sit ups, step ups, jogging... it's the hardest workout I've had since BellyRok at the gym. Harder. BellyRok was only an hour.
Do I wanna quit? Hellz naw! I think so, briefly, sometimes. When the sweat is dripping and I am starting to doubt myself... watching the vets skate can sometimes be intimidating. I think,"I will never be able to do that", but, then I am encouraged. The vets, the coaches, the other skaters, they are all so positive and supportive. I had an assessment the other day, simple, just to let the coaches know where I was coming in at, and although I volunteered to be among the first four to lap the floor for evaluation, my knees were shaking! As I raced my laps and gave my all, however, I heard my name being cheered on and that was amazing! I may not be at the same skating level as the vets, but I sure as hell am going to train my hardest, not only to be a good skater and hopefully one day skate in bouts, but also to push myself for my own good, physically and mentally.
So while I sit here with sore thighs, I still ache to be on those eight wheels again. I look forward to sweating under that helmet. And I look forward to seeing all the amazing girls, and a few guys, who are involved in making derby work. Thank you to everyone involved who volunteer their time to train with us fresh chunks of meat, what would we be without you? :) xo
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My husband
I have what had to be the best husband ever. There is nothing I approach him with that he puts down, very little he has to tell me no to (yeah, it happens, lol), and thinks every idea I have, silly little ones to serious dedicated ones, are great. He would support me in anything I decided do, as long as it was edifying and not harmful. He recently funded my joining of the local derby league. At once, entirely, skates, equipment, and all. This man has been waiting for new work shoes for months, but we have some extra cash and what does he think of? My new obsession and how he can help. Not one negative comment, matter of fact, on the few occasions I almost backed out of going to registration, he carried me through and got me there. Now there's no stopping me! And still, he thinks it's great. He helps me to fly, to rise to be all that I can be, to find my passions and explore them to their fullest. He would never hold me back, but rather take the ride along with me, my biggest fan. He is selfless, he is amazing, he makes up who I am today.
Happy V Day Baby, SHMILY
Happy V Day Baby, SHMILY
Derby
I recently joined my local derby league. WOOT! For those who are not familiar with roller derby, it is not a brawl on skates. It is a serious, full contact sport. There is no hitting, tripping, or elbowing. It's skill, concentration, and full body slams at high speeds. That's all ;) Everyone's reaction to the news so far has been, "You are (she is) going to get hurt". Well, that's what we have padding and helmets for. It's what we train two days a week, and then some, for. To succeed at getting the most points withOUT getting hurt, lol. If a fall happens along the way, so be it, been through worse. Get back up and keep on skating! :)
I'm excited about being a part of something like derby. It's a sisterhood of dedicated women. There are girls of all ages and sizes kickin it on the rink! We are trained to work together, take the pain, and support each other. One rep from the team told us, "When I first came to derby I had no friends, now I have 30 sisters".
Not to mention the awesome workouts I'll be getting!
I want to thank a few people who inspired and supported me; Jay, Amanda, Krista, and Melanie. Your positive influence gave me the confidence that I CAN DO THIS!!
XoXoXoXoXoXoXo
I'm excited about being a part of something like derby. It's a sisterhood of dedicated women. There are girls of all ages and sizes kickin it on the rink! We are trained to work together, take the pain, and support each other. One rep from the team told us, "When I first came to derby I had no friends, now I have 30 sisters".
Not to mention the awesome workouts I'll be getting!
I want to thank a few people who inspired and supported me; Jay, Amanda, Krista, and Melanie. Your positive influence gave me the confidence that I CAN DO THIS!!
XoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Crazy Acres Book One Chapter One
He looked to his left, at the dark dense woods bordering the side of the dirt road. The dirt road he lived on. The dirt road he was walking barefoot, and at night. He could feel the cool Georgia clay beneath his feet, some dirt between his toes.
He thought he saw something large and dark move out of the corner of his eye just as he turned his gaze forward once again. He whipped his head back to the left, but nothing, just the woods.
Although he couldn't see something dark and sinister stalking him, he felt sure something was watching him. Tommy started to feel panic rising within him. He wanted to go home, be home, among his family, but his house was a lot further down the road from where he stood. As he was trying to decide if he should run home, or towards the closer highway for help, a shrill, screaming noise broke the silence around him and sent his heart into such a pounding he was sure it would explode right out of his chest.
"This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill! The mother ship has landed and we need to evacuate!"
"Daaad!" Tommy could hear his little brother Dell groaning from his bunk below.
Tommy sat up, he felt clammy and disoriented. His hands were wet with sweat and his heart was still pounding hard. He realized he had been dreaming, but nevertheless, a feeling of cold fear still clung to him.
"You alright Tommy?" his father asked, standing in the doorway with an airhorn in one hand and a towel in another.
"Yeah Dad, think I was having a dream when you blasted us awake" Tommy said, trying to blink clear the haze of sleep.
"Would you rather I leave you sleeping while extraterrestrials tour the house uninvited and slurped your brains like soup?" his father asked.
Tommy's Dad had a wicked sense of humor, and did have a fascination with life on other planets, but he didn't really believe that E.T.'s would roam the house eating brains like chunky soup.
"Dad, that's weirder than my dream" Tommy replied.
"Shouldn't be eating cat food before bed son, messes with your dreams" Tommy's Dad said. "Here's a towel, hop in the shower", and with that, his Dad tossed the towel up on the bunk to him and walked back down the hall. Tommy didn't eat cat food before he went to bed anymore than little green men were going to dip into his skull with a spoon. He rolled his eyes as he watched his father walk away, but he was smiling, amused by his Dad, and the dark dream, complete with the heart pounding fear, was forgotten about.
He thought he saw something large and dark move out of the corner of his eye just as he turned his gaze forward once again. He whipped his head back to the left, but nothing, just the woods.
Although he couldn't see something dark and sinister stalking him, he felt sure something was watching him. Tommy started to feel panic rising within him. He wanted to go home, be home, among his family, but his house was a lot further down the road from where he stood. As he was trying to decide if he should run home, or towards the closer highway for help, a shrill, screaming noise broke the silence around him and sent his heart into such a pounding he was sure it would explode right out of his chest.
"This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill! The mother ship has landed and we need to evacuate!"
"Daaad!" Tommy could hear his little brother Dell groaning from his bunk below.
Tommy sat up, he felt clammy and disoriented. His hands were wet with sweat and his heart was still pounding hard. He realized he had been dreaming, but nevertheless, a feeling of cold fear still clung to him.
"You alright Tommy?" his father asked, standing in the doorway with an airhorn in one hand and a towel in another.
"Yeah Dad, think I was having a dream when you blasted us awake" Tommy said, trying to blink clear the haze of sleep.
"Would you rather I leave you sleeping while extraterrestrials tour the house uninvited and slurped your brains like soup?" his father asked.
Tommy's Dad had a wicked sense of humor, and did have a fascination with life on other planets, but he didn't really believe that E.T.'s would roam the house eating brains like chunky soup.
"Dad, that's weirder than my dream" Tommy replied.
"Shouldn't be eating cat food before bed son, messes with your dreams" Tommy's Dad said. "Here's a towel, hop in the shower", and with that, his Dad tossed the towel up on the bunk to him and walked back down the hall. Tommy didn't eat cat food before he went to bed anymore than little green men were going to dip into his skull with a spoon. He rolled his eyes as he watched his father walk away, but he was smiling, amused by his Dad, and the dark dream, complete with the heart pounding fear, was forgotten about.
Instinct and Oblivion
My husband and I successfully share one set of instincts. Now, they're pretty powerful and keen instincts, providing supersonic hearing, a wicked sixth sense, and an ability to be able to handle three children talking at you at once ("She's in my spot!", "He took my cup!", "Why do I have to do the litter box?!").
However, like all super powers, this amazing instinct does have a kryptonite. It cannot be shared.
For instance, most of the time I am carrying the instinct. I am top of eight little lives, a house, a husband, dozens of little critters, and once in a while, me. In the midst of a particular moment of chaos; early evening, cooking dinner on the stove, helping with at least four kids' homework, disciplining kids who had less than glamorous notes from their teachers, my son complaining of a bug bite, my daughter covered in sand from outside, the baby on the counter playing with pots and pans in the sink, and my husband is carrying on a conversation with me like we were at Sunday brunch in the park.
This uncanny ability to be able to tune out the chaos is extraordinary. Sometimes I am jealous of this condition of oblivion, but then, every once in a while there's a shift, a change, and the Instinct swaps with the Oblivion. Jay is suddenly on the ball, hears everything, cleans messes, changes diapers, plans dinners, seeks out too-quiet kids, whacks the slackers, and knows what's going on. I, on the other hand, no longer equipped with the Instinct, temporarily inherit Oblivion. Oh, it's nice here. Pleaseant. And I don't have to give much of a hoot because Jason's got it. Whew. Yeah, I take advantage of this! And so does he. He plays, snuggles, and bonds a lot during these times. Very productive on some of the things he may have been slacking or procrastinating on.
We make a great team, Jay and I. Eleven years together and instead of growing apart, we grew around and entwined with each other.
I hope that each one of my children find the same kind of love in their lives. XOXO
However, like all super powers, this amazing instinct does have a kryptonite. It cannot be shared.
For instance, most of the time I am carrying the instinct. I am top of eight little lives, a house, a husband, dozens of little critters, and once in a while, me. In the midst of a particular moment of chaos; early evening, cooking dinner on the stove, helping with at least four kids' homework, disciplining kids who had less than glamorous notes from their teachers, my son complaining of a bug bite, my daughter covered in sand from outside, the baby on the counter playing with pots and pans in the sink, and my husband is carrying on a conversation with me like we were at Sunday brunch in the park.
This uncanny ability to be able to tune out the chaos is extraordinary. Sometimes I am jealous of this condition of oblivion, but then, every once in a while there's a shift, a change, and the Instinct swaps with the Oblivion. Jay is suddenly on the ball, hears everything, cleans messes, changes diapers, plans dinners, seeks out too-quiet kids, whacks the slackers, and knows what's going on. I, on the other hand, no longer equipped with the Instinct, temporarily inherit Oblivion. Oh, it's nice here. Pleaseant. And I don't have to give much of a hoot because Jason's got it. Whew. Yeah, I take advantage of this! And so does he. He plays, snuggles, and bonds a lot during these times. Very productive on some of the things he may have been slacking or procrastinating on.
We make a great team, Jay and I. Eleven years together and instead of growing apart, we grew around and entwined with each other.
I hope that each one of my children find the same kind of love in their lives. XOXO
Ode to In Laws
We recently had issues with Jason's parents. Some of you know the details of the summer trip, but recently Jason had a conversation with his parents about what their problem is. They came up with a whole lot to judge and criticize. Apparently they twist my intentions, misunderstand who I am, who their son is, and read my blog to nitpick. So, to the Maass', here is my rebuttal;
You accused me of lying to you. First of all I don't lie. People who choose not to like me, do so because they can't handle how straight and truthful I am. What does that say about them?
Second, if I had something to lie about, I wouldn't waste it on you. I have no reason to lie to you, nothing to hide, nothing to cover up. You're assuming. If it's real truth you're after, pull up a chair and get a cup of coffee....
You accused me of being a lazy parent. You have no idea. When was the last time you raised 8 kids?
Proof of your ignorance; you accused me of using Emmie to raise the kids (while I did what, pray tell?), when you didn't even know that she was enrolled in school. You told Jason you see him doing everything, but when he doesn't get home from work until after 8 pm, who do you think does the homework with the 6 school, kids? Who cooks dinner? Runs the errands? Does the shopping? Cleans the house? Supervises baths? Reads stories? Kisses boo-boo's? Tucks the kids in at bedtime? Does the laundry? Dishes? Discipline? Why are you so adamant about not giving me credit for taking care of my family??
As far as the week you visited right after Dakota's surgery, hell no I wasn't entertaining! How vain and thick of you to expect it! I am the one who the brunt of everything fell on when we found out Coda needed help. I took care of all the calls, appt.'s, and research. I am the one who held it together when everyone else (Jay and my mom) were falling apart. I am the one who only cried quietly, alone, in the parking garage because I was the only one handling shit up in that hospital room. Talk about exhausted! I was about as exhausted as you can get; physically, mentally and emotionally. I was dealing with issues both at home and at the hospital. You should have been making sure I rested and took care of my house for me. The last thing I needed was in laws who needed to be entertained. You should have stayed home then. I make no apologies for spending a lot of time alone in my room that week.
If you recall, during your previous visit, I cooked a fine meal every night, whether you stayed for it or not.
It seems you also critiqued some of my decisions regarding my children. Even went as far as to mention DFCS. Let me tell you something, anyone who mentions DFCS around my family, has no place around my family. If you were to bring a case against me in court, you'd be boo'd right out of the courtroom. I run circles around both you and Vanessa when it comes to Motherhood. Know your place.
Also, someone who says seeing the kids "isn't worth it", speaks in anger and can't apologize, and seems so determined to see the worst in me... is not a woman of any kind of virtue.
Now, you said something to the effect of, you read my blogs and are upset about the homosexual stuff and what adultery might be going on around here. Well, if you were closer to us, you might know what does, or does not go on around here, but for now, you'll have to suffice with; it's none of your business. Jason and I have been together for 11 years, worry about your own sex life.
Ah, lastly, take your bible and eat it. None of us here are Christians. The bible is a book. It is fallible. We have our own beliefs. If everything you think is centered around your beliefs with no room to accept anything or anyone else, you are not a Christian either. If there is a God, He knows my heart. Jason knows my heart. My kids know my heart. And my friends know my heart. You never got to know it.
Your own biblical interpretations is that you reap what you sow and that you'll bear the fruit of your labors. Well, I have reaped a wonderful, large, healthy, happy, loving family. We have also accomplished more than many people thought we would when we started out. My fruits are plentiful, sweet, and developing well. So who are you to judge?
I can live the rest of my life without seeing any of you again. It's a shame, but I'm done being the victim of your outrageous accusations and unfair assumptions. You still sit up there in NY and can't find it within yourself to call, straighten things out, and apologize. Pop some meds for that bi polar issue, might help you to think more clearly, and with your heart instead of your paranoid delusions.
You accused me of lying to you. First of all I don't lie. People who choose not to like me, do so because they can't handle how straight and truthful I am. What does that say about them?
Second, if I had something to lie about, I wouldn't waste it on you. I have no reason to lie to you, nothing to hide, nothing to cover up. You're assuming. If it's real truth you're after, pull up a chair and get a cup of coffee....
You accused me of being a lazy parent. You have no idea. When was the last time you raised 8 kids?
Proof of your ignorance; you accused me of using Emmie to raise the kids (while I did what, pray tell?), when you didn't even know that she was enrolled in school. You told Jason you see him doing everything, but when he doesn't get home from work until after 8 pm, who do you think does the homework with the 6 school, kids? Who cooks dinner? Runs the errands? Does the shopping? Cleans the house? Supervises baths? Reads stories? Kisses boo-boo's? Tucks the kids in at bedtime? Does the laundry? Dishes? Discipline? Why are you so adamant about not giving me credit for taking care of my family??
As far as the week you visited right after Dakota's surgery, hell no I wasn't entertaining! How vain and thick of you to expect it! I am the one who the brunt of everything fell on when we found out Coda needed help. I took care of all the calls, appt.'s, and research. I am the one who held it together when everyone else (Jay and my mom) were falling apart. I am the one who only cried quietly, alone, in the parking garage because I was the only one handling shit up in that hospital room. Talk about exhausted! I was about as exhausted as you can get; physically, mentally and emotionally. I was dealing with issues both at home and at the hospital. You should have been making sure I rested and took care of my house for me. The last thing I needed was in laws who needed to be entertained. You should have stayed home then. I make no apologies for spending a lot of time alone in my room that week.
If you recall, during your previous visit, I cooked a fine meal every night, whether you stayed for it or not.
It seems you also critiqued some of my decisions regarding my children. Even went as far as to mention DFCS. Let me tell you something, anyone who mentions DFCS around my family, has no place around my family. If you were to bring a case against me in court, you'd be boo'd right out of the courtroom. I run circles around both you and Vanessa when it comes to Motherhood. Know your place.
Also, someone who says seeing the kids "isn't worth it", speaks in anger and can't apologize, and seems so determined to see the worst in me... is not a woman of any kind of virtue.
Now, you said something to the effect of, you read my blogs and are upset about the homosexual stuff and what adultery might be going on around here. Well, if you were closer to us, you might know what does, or does not go on around here, but for now, you'll have to suffice with; it's none of your business. Jason and I have been together for 11 years, worry about your own sex life.
Ah, lastly, take your bible and eat it. None of us here are Christians. The bible is a book. It is fallible. We have our own beliefs. If everything you think is centered around your beliefs with no room to accept anything or anyone else, you are not a Christian either. If there is a God, He knows my heart. Jason knows my heart. My kids know my heart. And my friends know my heart. You never got to know it.
Your own biblical interpretations is that you reap what you sow and that you'll bear the fruit of your labors. Well, I have reaped a wonderful, large, healthy, happy, loving family. We have also accomplished more than many people thought we would when we started out. My fruits are plentiful, sweet, and developing well. So who are you to judge?
I can live the rest of my life without seeing any of you again. It's a shame, but I'm done being the victim of your outrageous accusations and unfair assumptions. You still sit up there in NY and can't find it within yourself to call, straighten things out, and apologize. Pop some meds for that bi polar issue, might help you to think more clearly, and with your heart instead of your paranoid delusions.
How to get your child to behave in the supermarket (a Helium article)
I have a large family, so when I shop for groceries, we’re talking about over an hour in the store, an overflowing cart, and a minimum of two kids with me. Other than having better things to do, I can‘t say I dread it. There are no temper tantrums or melt downs. There is no demanding of what they want or stomping of feet. I also don’t bribe or yell. My secret? Duct tape. Just kidding.
Children are very intuitive little creatures and can smell weakness like a coyote smells a rabbit. They also have more energy than we do and are prepared for long battles, if it means the end result will be their way. Too many moms let this get to them. They try to fight a good fight, but tend to end up exhausted and surrendering to the whims of person that’s 2 feet and 100 pounds smaller than they are. This is like a dog walking the owner or an lion training the tamer.
First of all, remember who is the boss. (That’s you, not them, by the way). Let them know that you have to go shopping and you expect them to behave. If they’re not used to behaving, lay out some rules. Think about this beforehand because if you pause, stutter, hesitate, or seem unsure, they’ll immediately register weakness and play it against you. Some examples of rules; There is NO running. NO leaving the cart. NO yelling. DON’T ask for anything. And DON’T hide under the shelves. Look them in the eye when you lay this out for them. If you don’t think they’re paying attention, have them repeat the rules back to you. Helps them to register it sometimes (if it doesn’t have something to do with candy or a game controller, they may discard it as irrelevant information).
Set consequences for any broken rules. Again, think about this ahead of time. A significant mistake often made in parenting is not being consistent, or not following through on threats. Some popular “worn out Mom phrases” I often hear are, “Do you want a time out/spank?”. Really, what does this accomplish? Is the child going to say, “Yes, as a matter of fact, that’s exactly what I was going for”? No silly, this is a futile effort on your part to hope that the child cares enough about you being frustrated that he’ll have empathy and quit misbehaving. Key word; futile. They don’t care. Remember, it’s the end result they’re after.
Another “worn out Mom phrase" is, ”I won’t buy you anything if you don’t stop”. Say what? First of all, we all know, including the child, that you’re going to buy something anyway. So this is a waste of breath. Besides, shouldn’t your children be behaving because they’re taught to, not because you’re bribing them to? What’s going to happen when the bribe you are offering isn’t good enough? Yikes, it will get worse.
Now some good consequences for unacceptable behavior that I have used are; a pinch under the arm as a warning that they are getting out of hand and that I notice. (Settle down, I’m not talking bruises). It’s a silent reminder. No yelling necessary. Let them know ahead of time that you will do this so they know it’s a signal (that they better quit!). After that, if the poor behavior continues, it’s a good time for an embarrassing whack on the backside. The humiliation, not the whack, humbles them and sends them a clear message that you’re paying attention and that you’re serious. Last resort, turn around and bring them out of the store. Take them to the car and choke them. JUST. KIDDING. But do follow through with a serious punishment. Something that will make them regret their behavior and think twice about trying to pull it again. Such as; no video games until they can prove they can behave during the next shopping trip. Or no dessert, early bedtime, extra chores, digging holes… until next shopping trip. This keeps them on the hook, and your expectations fresh on their mind for next time. And next time should be more pleasant.
If not, there’s always duct tape.
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